Our experience over the years as a household staff agency has given us quite a unique insight into mistakes employers make when they employ household staff.
We are able to help our clients avoid these when they work with us, but here are some of the most common mistakes we see.
Being Too Friendly With Staff
Maintaining professional boundaries is essential. While you should have a pleasant, respectful relationship with household staff, they are not your friends.
In France, employers use formal address (“Monsieur/Madame”) rather than first names to maintain appropriate distance.
This boundary isn’t about being cold. It’s about ensuring you can effectively manage, provide feedback, and make difficult decisions when necessary.
Vague Duty Descriptions
As shared by our recruiting team in Newport Beach, avoid unclear language like “light housekeeping” or “occasional travel.” Be explicit:
– “Childcare hours: Monday to Friday, 7am to 7pm, with one weekend per month”
– “Deep clean including moving furniture: once monthly”
– “Travel required: approximately two weeks per month, primarily to France and New York”
Poor Contract Structure
The best contracts balance specificity with flexibility. Include clear core duties while adding language like: “Additional reasonable tasks as requested” and “Primary residence Dubai, with flexibility for family relocations within the UAE.”
The “Feeling” vs. “Skills” Ratio
While a candidate’s resume gets them through the door, many principals make the mistake of hiring 100% on “gut feeling.”
Our team at Morgan & Mallet (M&M) recommends a 50/50 split:
- 50% Personality: Does their character, manners, and energy mesh with your home? You can’t change a person’s character.
- 50% Skills and Organization: Can they actually do the job?
Hiring a “nice” person who lacks the skills to manage a $10 million estate will eventually lead to resentment.
Recruiters based in our New York office have seen that it’s easier to teach a skilled person your specific preferences than it is to teach an unorganized person how to be meticulous.
Reference Check Failures
In the era of AI-generated content, reference letters are no longer enough. Our recruiters have spotted “red flags” that many families miss:
- The “Copy-Paste” Error: We have seen candidates submit three letters from three “different” employers, all containing the exact same spelling mistakes.
- The Phone Trap: Never call the number provided on the resume. Google the company or the previous employer to verify the contact details independently.
- The Over-Sharer: If a previous employer spends an hour on the phone giving you every single detail of the candidate’s life, be cautious.
Professional references should be concise and focused on performance.
The Management Paradox
We often see highly successful CEOs, people who manage thousands of employees, struggle to manage a household staff of three.
In a corporate setting, there is a HR department to handle friction. In a home, you are the HR department. This leads to two common errors:
- Micromanagement: Being too “picky” or toxic, which causes talented staff to leave.
- Conflict Avoidance: Being “scared” to give feedback to a nanny or chef because they are so integrated into your daily life.
The Solution: Implement SOPs (Standard Operating Procedures). A “House Book” should dictate exactly how the home is run, from how the silver is polished to which doors staff should use.
This moves the “blame” from the person to the process.
The Cost of Slow Feedback
In the 2026 domestic staffing market, the best candidates are off the market in days, not weeks.
One of the costliest mistakes a family can make is failing to provide feedback after an interview.
As shared by our recruiting team in New York, if you wait two months to make an offer because you were “too busy,” the candidate will view your household as disorganized and likely accept another offer.
Consistency in communication is a reflection of your household’s professional standards.
