How to Become a Nanny for UHNW Families

BEN W: Hello there, podcast listeners. In today’s episode of the Morgan and Mallet podcast, we’re talking with Ellie. She is a former nanny who worked in London, in the UK, and in the Middle East. Then she progressed to be a recruiter, hiring nannies just like she used to be, and finding them roles in ultra-high net worth households.

In this episode, she’s going to share lots of advice and help if you are considering being a nanny for an ultra high net worth household – how to get started, what skills you need, what to understand. So welcome to today’s podcast, Ellie. How are we doing today?

ELLIE: Thanks so much for having me. I’m well. How are you?

Working Remotely From Dubai

BEN W: All good, thank you. Ellie just arrived back into Dubai. Are you back in the office or working remotely at the moment?

ELLIE: Remotely at the moment. The office is more downtown, so rather than making that travel every day, we’re just working from home.

BEN W: Was it easy working from the UK, serving clients in Dubai, or was your timetable all over the place?

ELLIE: It wasn’t too bad to be honest. The time zone isn’t too bad – only four hours, so a little bit of an early start but nothing too bad. Especially for my UK clients it was perfect timing because I had more hours in the day with them.

BEN W: Are your clients mainly from the UK or mainly from the Middle East?

ELLIE: Pretty split. I would say maybe a month ago they were 90% in the UAE, but at the moment they’re kind of Europe and the Middle East.

Essential Advice for Entering High Net Worth Households

BEN W: What’s your best advice for a nanny who wants to move into the high net worth world?

ELLIE: I would say presentation matters massively. So does professionalism, and attention to detail is everything. These families operate at a much higher level, much faster pace usually. You’ll get left behind if you’re not up to scratch.

Make sure you’re aware of things before you’re going in. Do your research ahead of time. Make sure you know what’s coming up for you the next day or the next job.

CV Mistakes That Kill Your Chances

BEN W: Do you find it’s quite common to have an exceptional nanny but a not exceptional CV?

ELLIE: 100%. I feel like especially nowadays, there’s so many resources out there to make sure your CV is up to scratch. Even basic information people are missing – such as where they are in the world, what location are you. I don’t necessarily know where you are. You could be in New Zealand or you could be in London.

A photo – we always need a photo, but also a professional one. I don’t want to see a picture of you on the beach. Having loads of bright bold colours on your CV doesn’t look professional.

Your education – I don’t necessarily need to know what primary school you went to because it’s not relevant, but I do need to know more up-to-date things. Having jobs on there that aren’t relevant, like if you worked in a football club when you were 15, I don’t need to know that. But I do need detailed information about your most recent roles – what you did, why you left, how long you were there for.

BEN W: Do you ever send a CV back saying “I can’t work with this”?

ELLIE: All the time. In the Middle East we have lots of wonderful candidates from Asia or India who maybe haven’t got the IT skills, so we help them. I’ll take notes and send it to them to incorporate into their CV.

Often I’ll need cover letters from people. Not every job needs a cover letter, but if you’re applying for a job with a higher salary, it’s professional to do one – and not just a standard one. A lot of the time we get very standard ChatGPT messages that say “dear hiring manager.” I know it’s not personal.

If you’re applying for a personal assistant position in Doha, incorporate that into the cover letter. Make it personal. Why do you want that specific job, not that you’re just looking for a new job.

Interview and Trial Best Practices

BEN W: How can nannies show professionalism during interviews and trials?

ELLIE: A lot about how you present – making sure you’re not late. If you have the PA’s number or the principal’s number, check in confirming “our interview today at X amount of time.” Make sure everyone’s on the right page.

How you dress is really important. If you’re going to be with children, you’ll be on the floor, so wearing a short dress isn’t necessarily a good idea. You want to be confident, calm, ask appropriate questions, make sure you’re interested in their life.

You don’t want to come across as unprofessional. These people are very professional business people and they expect that same professionalism in and outside of their home.

The Most Important Soft Skill

BEN W: What soft skills make the biggest difference in luxury households?

ELLIE: Above everything else, emotional intelligence. You are in the house and it’s a professional relationship, but at the end of the day, being in somebody’s house, you’re going to see a different side to them. You might see them at a vulnerable time – maybe something personal has happened, they might be very upset or unwell.

Just knowing when to step out of a room, when to step in, when to offer a little bit more personal support. If someone is crying, do you have that relationship where you would pass some tissue? Would you leave the room? Would you offer them a hug? Being aware of your surroundings and who’s there, who’s not there.

Being flexible is massive. In a private household, you can’t always leave at six o’clock if that’s when your shift ends because things happen – traffic, meetings run late. You’re there to do a job because they can’t be there for their children all the time, they’re busy. Obviously it comes with respect – you’d expect a message saying “I’m really sorry I’m running late.”

Managing Family Dynamics

BEN W: When parents come home at five o’clock, do you leave the children with them or carry on?

ELLIE: It’s different on different days. Sometimes we’ll do things all together. Occasionally in Dubai, maybe in winters, we’d all go for a walk in the evening around our local area. Other times maybe one child would stay with mom and dad for a story if they’ve come in at bedtime, and I would take the other child. Then we’d swap over.

Or sometimes the parents would need to carry on working, in which case we would say hello and I would carry on with the children.

BEN W: The children understand when mommy and daddy are working?

ELLIE: In households I’ve been in, there’s been home offices. So it’s very clear – if mommy and daddy are in the home office, they’re working. If they’re out and about, then they’re ready to play. The children I’ve always had have grown up with this. It’s not something new being sprung upon them when they’re five. They’ve never known any different.

Protecting Your Wellbeing

BEN W: How can a nanny look after their own wellbeing in a busy private setup?

ELLIE: Set boundaries. Obviously we need to be flexible, but having boundaries is really important. Taking your time off seriously is another big one. If you have a day off, make sure you’re using it to your advantage. Don’t always fill it and say you’ll do extra work for other people. Use that time, have downtime, fill your cup.

Don’t be afraid to communicate. I’ve had situations where my nanny family moved further away so my commute doubled. With the additional commute time and hours, I reduced some of my weekend hours because it was too much and I was getting burnt out. We just worked through it together. It wasn’t anybody’s fault.

Understanding the Recruitment Process

BEN W: What do you wish more candidates understood about recruitment?

ELLIE: It takes time. I appreciate you might be focusing on this one role, but we have maybe up to 200 people apply for any one role. That’s not an exaggeration. We honestly have so many people apply. I’m not trying to be rude or ignore you, but if I have 200 people messaging me about their CV, I can only go as fast as I can go.

These clients are very busy. These are often ultra high net worth, very busy business people. They don’t necessarily have time to answer my calls every day. Booking interviews takes time.

The more ultra high net worth you’re dealing with, the longer it can take. I’ve had people go on holiday very last minute – they go away the next day for two weeks because they can. That means things are just being paused.

We always do our best to let you know, but often we don’t always know what’s going on on the client side. We’re very much the middle person. As soon as we have information, we pass it on. We’re not going to withhold that from you, but often we don’t always know all the answers.

Steps to Break Into UHNW Households

BEN W: For someone who enjoys working with children and wants to start working with ultra high net worth individuals for an extremely high salary, what steps should they take?

ELLIE: Really master your soft skills and the admin side things. Make sure your CV is immaculate, you have professional photos, cover letters, everything like that. So when you’re applying, you’re good to go.

Make sure you’ve been in that private environment. You’re comfortable around the ultra high net worth, you’re not intimidated. That might be starting off by doing some ad hoc babysitting. There’s many apps out there where you can do a few hours here and there.

Then start applying for things. You’re only going to know it once you’ve done it. Also trial and error with interviews – I’ve done many interviews that haven’t gone particularly well, but I’ve learned something from them.

Do your research. There’s so many groups out there on social media that can help answer questions. There’s many Facebook groups and things that will help you. Being really self-aware – if you’ve made a mistake or something hasn’t gone well, being willing to change.

The Value of Qualifications

BEN W: Do qualifications help progress the career?

ELLIE: Without doubt, especially the niche ones. Obviously everyone is expected to have a first aid course, but if you’ve done additional courses such as maybe an autism course or something about sensory issues, things that are coming up more and more in childcare, that would go a long way.

We have a lot of clients looking for someone with really specific qualifications or experience, and nothing is going to be a disadvantage.

BEN W: Are Norland and Montessori qualifications high in demand?

ELLIE: Always a benefit, but I don’t necessarily think that’s super high-demand in the Middle East. We do get requests, but specifically for Norland nanny it’s not the most requested thing. The Montessori approach is very trendy at the moment – a lot of parents are doing that.

Always make sure you feel confident in whatever way you nanny. If you really believe in whatever it might be, make sure you’re up to date with it, understanding all the facts about it.

What Makes the Perfect Match

BEN W: How would you describe the perfect client and perfect candidate in one line each?

ELLIE: Client: Responsive, honest and flexible. You might not get your unicorn person because they might not exist and you have to be a little bit flexible. Sometimes people want 10 things, and it’s about which few are most important to you. If 10 years experience could drop to five, or if they know three languages instead of four, being flexible always helps open your pool up to more people.

Candidate: Responsive because clients don’t necessarily wait around – when they are ready, they are ready to go. Honest as well, and also flexible.

Final Wisdom: The Power of Networking

BEN W: Is there anything I should have asked that would be valuable for a candidate looking to become a nanny or progress in their career?

ELLIE: Networking is massive. Always reaching out to different people, expanding your knowledge, going on different courses, meeting people that way. I’ve met some of my previous employers through learning courses and things like that. The more you can do personally, the better you’re going to look and the further you’ll go.

BEN W: What courses did you do?

ELLIE: I’ve done a few for children with additional needs such as autism and disordered eating, and then the standard ones such as CPR. I’m also a swimming teacher, so the teacher rescue courses and things like that.